Do you prefer Nutella or Cadbury flakes on your dick waffle? Dick dessert summer isn’t the summer we asked for, but maybe it’s the one we deserve. The catalyst behind this season’s hottest treat trend is hard to grasp, but this much is clear: people are going ham over pecker pastries. In New York, Kinky’s Dessert Bar is turning out waffles in two shapes—Dicky or Va-JayJay—with flavor options such as Slutty Cinnamon and Forbidden Fruit. (They also hawk X-rated cupcakes whose realistic design is NSFW.) While at Sugar Wood, in SoHo, queer celebrity baker Tom Smallwood of Magnolia Bakery offers Woody and Kitty waffles either naked or dripped with sauces like peanut butter and salted caramel. Part of the proceeds are donated to the Phluid Project, which supports marginalized LGBTQIA+ communities.
Mr. Dick’s in Manchester, England, dips its phalluses and vulvas in dark, pink, or gold chocolate, and sprinkles them with crushed Oreos, Lotus Biscoff, and other toppings. Canada, too, is hopping on the dick waffle train. Toronto’s Members Only Waffle House drenches its disco sticks, called Members, in luxurious Belgian chocolate. Lil Willy’s, in Vancouver, peddles flavors like BBC (big black chocolate) and Wet Dream (vanilla). Then there’s Zizi Pop Montreal, which loads its johnsons with elevated ingredients such as bbq bacon or Japanese mayo and teriyaki puffed rice. Truth be told, a few scrolls through social media and it becomes easy to see why these crass confectioners are popping up around the globe: they want to go venereal, er, viral.